" leave it arohi, no one is forcing you to go to engagement. Why are you even going" disha said sitting behind me on couch. I look at my reflection in mirror. I m wearing wine colour sharara suit. I matched it with silver earrings and silver bangles. I left my hair loose. Disha did light makeup on me. I closed my eyes and sighed. As I close my eyes I m reminded of how many stupid things I did this for my stupid first love. Here I m getting ready for his engagement. We never talked. I secretly admired him from shadows. Not because I was afraid of rejection, but I wasn't confident and then something else made me give up on him.
i opened my eyes, turned to disha. Her expression is of concern. She is my bestfriend I met in work. We met two years ago but it feels like we have been friends for years. Since I told her about the invitation, she is getting furious. But I just want to go to move on from him. I hope I m not being stupid here.
" I m fine disha" I said. She came closer and adjusted my dupatta and hair. " I wish he realises he is losing a diamond in search of a silver" I smile at her words. She knows exactly what to say to make my day. "are you sure?, you will be fine?" she asked once again, her hand on my right shoulder. I nodded.
I reached the venue, but the first sight I saw made my heart clench and I felt a knot in my stomach. You know what, I m kind of person, who knows this will hurt but still I choose the path of pain when I have the option of avoiding it. If I wanted I could have refused the invitation but hell I like playing with pain.
Kunal and me were just classmates but I don't know why he sent me special invitation. Is it some kind of his way to mock me? As his fiancé came in her light pink beautiful lehenga, he dramatically put hand on his heart. Like really. I want to really punch him now. Just relax arohi, you can't ruin his handsome face. wait... did I call him handsome now?. oh god I will have to have two spoons of green chilli sauce. Yeah.. in order to move on from him I decided to have two spoon of green chilli sauce whenever I think about him and trust me it worked. I stopped thinking about him because my mother scolded me whenever green chilli sauce were found empty so often.
Let them be nibba and nibbi. I thought before walking towards pani puri stall. Fuck them all I will enjoy my pani puri. Afterall I m giving Rs 1100 as a shagun. I ignored their shit and focused on my pani puri. Well only way to forget about the life is just have a spicy pani puri and if you really want to forget the pain so desperately then drink warm tea on spicy pani puri then see what magic it does. I have tried this combination many times. Whenever I m stressed. I always have a pani puri with lot of green chilli then I have a sip of warm tea. Then all I can remember is the burn on my tongue.
As the ceremony started, I stood in last, watching both of them exchange rings. I wish next time when I will come to his wedding I come with my partner. Wait.. what the hell did I say. I don't want to marry yet. Hey bhagwaan ji I take my words back.
After the photographs I gave my shagun card. "I thought you wouldn't come" he said, god why is his voice sounding so disguting now. while in school I use to find ways to talk to him. I guess its all about time. I was stupid to love such a guy. He doesn't even deserve a 1% of my love. Thank god we didn't date but guess what? I m still jealous. Can anyone feel me?
" well you specially sent me an invitation I had to come, I never learnt to ignore the existence of others like some people" I said bitterly but my sweet voice hide the bitterness. Atleast god gave me this soft voice. I didn't wait to click pictures I climbed down from stage. I don't want to stay here for another moment. I m leaving.
On my way home, I told disha everything over the phone call. I opened the gate eo my house. Its very chaotic. What's the occasion, everyone are talking about outfits, laughing and joking.
" whats the occasion guys, why are you so excited?" I asked as I sat down on couch. my parents sat on one couch while I sit beside kavya on other couch. " that's good, you are back too," my mother said. " okay I got it now, will you please tell me whats the occasion?" I asked out of curiosity.
"My uncle is calling us in delhi for his son's marriage. He specially invited me. He said its been years since he saw me and my kids. Last time I went to delhi was when you were 4 and kavya was 1 year old. They will be happy to see you both too" ohh so this is what it's all about. My mother always wanted to meet her uncle. She had a very good relationship with him. I have heard he treated her just like his daughters.
" so when is the wedding?" I asked while removing my earrings and bangles. "it's next month, we will go there five days before" my mother said. I have never seen my mother so happy like today. Her smile is reaching her eyes.
"but mumma I can't take days off much, I will reach two days before marriage" her smile melting off at my words god it hurts to see her. But you know what she will accept it because she understands.
"I will also come with arohi," my father said. The reason he is saying this is because he doesn't like staying in other's house for more than a day.
" I will go with mumma" kavya said and did high five with my mother. She is just 3 years younger than me but sometimes it feels like she is the eldest while I m youngest. But she is more beautiful. You know what my grandma used to say whenever in future any suitor will come to see me. They will end up liking my younger sister. That time I use to be only 10 year old or something. I don't know if they said in joke or did they really mean it. but it still hurted that time. To be honest I always get tense whenever someone talks about suitors. In childhood I use to get jealous of her fair complexion but after years I realised its none of our choice. I accepted myself and I guess this is the one of the reason I didn't approached my school time first love. My relationship with kavya is so good. She is best. she speaks for me whenever someone talks about my brown skin. I guess disha is just copy of her. I have two lovely knights protecting me from the bullshit of others stereotypes. I have made my mind, I won't marry and adopt a child at 26 then live happily.
Seeing my family so happy making me forget about the shit I went through. First I was scolded by my superior because I didn't knew how to complete task, even though when I asked his help he refused. But when deadline came he accused me of being irresponsible and lazy. Then I had to go to his engagement. I should have eaten more pani puri. Well next time I definitely will.
After dinner I went to bed. I did my night skin care. My night care includes, cleansing, toner, moisturizer then just sleep. I massage my face then I looked at my skin, "god you are looking gorgeous now" I said to my mirror reflection. My mood changes instantly. You won't believe but sometimes I m the insecure person then I become self obsessed. Just like now. My skin is certainly glowing and this messy hair style is giving me hot look. " baby girl, you are gonna get your billionaire man, don't fall for cheap shit" I told myself and blowed a kiss.
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A month went by so fast. my mother is leaving tonight. I have made reservations for her and kavya already. My house is chaotic right now. I m sitting in kavya's room. her room is messed up. My mother is packing her clothes. She did pack her luggage but she didn't put any traditional clothing. My mother scolded her. I'm just hiding my smile. They look so cute when they argue. You know what's so entertaining about my family is. My mother and kavya argues a lot like a sisters do. They both have same bad temper. But when it comes to serious decisions, I take the lead and no one can refuse. So I barely talk and make stupid decisions. I m more like a observer.
" arrey mumma isse toh rehnedo" kavya said holding her night shorts.
"sharam kar kavya, ghar mein kapdo mein koi rok toh nahi hai, par bahar sharam lehaaz rakhni hoti hai" my mother said, she is true in her sense while kavya pouted.
After lot of arguments they finally packed. Their train is at 11:30. We sat down at dining table. My mother and kavya are refusing to talk to each other. But I know after a while they will end up talking once again. I just know them.
"what if someone proposes a marriage proposal" my mother's words melted off my smile and my hands stilled. I hope this is not going towards the way I don't want to.
"mumma.." kavya said knowing this is exactly where conversation is going where I don't want.
" what did I say wrong?" she paused before continuing, " I mean you both are now independent, you are running a home bakery at 21 while arohi is earning a decent amount at 24, afterall this is the age to settle off." my mother said.
" I hope you are not talking about my marriage and all" I interrupted I didn't wanted to sound rude but I couldn't stop.
" why not?" her reply came immediately as if she doesn't know.
" I told you mumma I will do master's after taking a drop of two years after my graduation to gain more working experience, and you know I won't settle for bare minimum" I said we have had this conversation many time before but she always tries to provoke me.
" when did I refuse you to not go for master's, you can do that in your own house- I interrupted my mother pushing away my plate.
" this is my house too and you know very well that I won't marry unless I achieve my dreams of becoming successful business woman" I said her next words made me hurt more than making me angry.
" business vagaira aise nhi hote, shaadi karo aur apne ghar jao" I stood up and walked to my room. I heard my father telling her to not to start such conversations while eating.
I sat down on bed and looked at the white wall in front of me. I can't marry yet. Not until I'm successful. I want to be business woman rather than being someone's wife.
After 20 minutes my room door opened, my mother came with a plate of food. Her anger Is gone and I can see the regret in her eyes. My mother is best. but sometimes she sometimes says things without meaning them. She turned on the light. Sudden brightness sting to my eyes.
As my eyes adjusted to brightness, she came and sat down beside me. She forwarded her hand to feed me, I opened my mouth, her words made my eyes teary, " I m sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that" seeing my own tears her eyes also filled with tears. Trust me I m blessed with a best mother and best family. She wiped off my tears and fed me silently. You know what, what's the most delicious food. The most delicious food is the one fed by our parents. The sweetness it has can't be added by any of other best chefs. After feeding me she put the plate aside and held my hand.
" I m not against your studies or your career, all I want is best for my daughters."
She paused before continuing,
" you know what when you and kavya were little, relatives use to call you both burden, but I fought for you both. Me and your father raised you in a way, so that you have no shortcomings of anything. All I want is best future. I want you both to have the future I never had"
I hugged her immediately, her hands come to wrap around me to embrace me in her warmness. We both cried for a while when suddenly she spoke in her mocking amusing voice just to lighten the mood, " but if we really found a good suitor for you, you will have to marry, okay?"
I pulled away, she palmed my face and wiped off the tears, " remember right person will always love you the way you are, and when that will happen you will forget about everything" I wish her words come true but I m still too insecure to do any relationship.
" wah!! akele akele hi maa beti ka pyaar chal raha hai, yrr main bhi beti hu mujhe bhi pyaar do," kavya said standing in doorframe in a dramatic way. " aaja tu bhi" my mother said and she hugged both of us.
" arrey agar maa aur betiyoon ka pyaar khatam ho gya ho toh chale, kahi train na nikal jaye" my father said watching us with his sweet loving smile.
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